


Online ◦ Ashton Irwin [1]

by animechey



Series: Online Series ◦ Ashton Irwin [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-06-10
Packaged: 2020-01-25 20:02:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 4,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18581593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animechey/pseuds/animechey
Summary: Ashton is your average boy.Hayden is your average girl.He's in a band.She's his fangirl.© Chey Eveleigh | July 2018





	1. I ◦ Follow

**@ashlove94  
**gotta love how photogenic this little shit is  _@As _hton5SOS__

_@As _hton5SOS__  has favourited your tweet!

 _@As _hton5SOS__  has followed you!


	2. II ◦ Tweet

**@ashlove94  
** thank you so much for the follow  _@_ _As_ _hton5SOS_ it means so much!!

 **@Ashton5SOS**  
no problem _@ashlove94_  ;)

 **@ashlove94**  
asdfghjkl ashton just tweeted me!!

 _@_ _As_ _hton5SOS_  just favourited your tweet!

 **@Ashton5SOS**  
😂😂

 _@ashlove94_  has liked this tweet!


	3. III ◦ Chat

**Twitter DM**

**Hayden  
** I just wanted to say thank you so much for the follow.

 **Ashton**  
It's really no problem. 😊

 **Hayden**  
It means so much to me.  
Like, you have no idea.

 **Ashton**  
I was in your position once too.  
I do have an idea.

 **Hayden**  
I didn't mean to sound mean. 😣

 **Ashton**  
😂 You didn't.  
Don't worry about it.


	4. IV ◦ Smile

**@** **Ashton5SOS  
** meeting new people always puts a smile on your face :)

 **@ashlove94**  
i agree _@_ _As_ _hton5SOS_

 _@_ _A_ _shton5SOS_  has favourited your tweet!


	5. V ◦ Name

**Twitter DM**

**Hayden**  
My name's Hayden by the way.  
Just so you don't think I'm some weirdo.

 **Ashton**  
It's nice to meet you, Hayden.  
And I don't think you're a weirdo.


	6. VI ◦ Talk

**Twitter DM**

**Hayden**  
It's been a few days since we talked.  
It felt strange not messaging you.

 **Ashton**  
It has been a while.

 **Hayden**  
Do you think we could talk more?

 **Ashton**  
Possibly.  
What do you want to talk about?

 **Hayden**  
I'm not sure.  
Any ideas?

 **Ashton**  
I have no idea.

 **Hayden**  
If it's not obvious by now,  
I am unbelievably awkward and shy.

 **Ashton**  
Awkward isn't bad,  
and neither is shy.

 **Hayden**  
Aww thanks xx

 **Ashton**  
Anytime xx


	7. VII ◦ Nicknames

**Twitter DM**

**Hayden**  
Morning, Ash. 😀

 **Ashton**  
Good morning, Hayden. 😀

 **Hayden**  
We've been talking for a month and I still don't have a nickname. 🙁

 **Ashton**  
You want a nickname?

 **Hayden**    
Uh, yeah.  
I mean, come on.  
You have one and I don't.

 **Ashton**  
Is that what this is about? 😁

 **Hayden**  
It's not faaaair.

 **Ashton**  
Calm down, princess. 😂  
No need to get worked up.

 **Hayden**  
Princess??

 **Ashton**  
Oops.  
That kinda slipped out.  
Sorry.

 **Hayden**  
No, it's fine.  
I kinda like it. 😊

 **Ashton**  
Princess it is then. 😉


	8. VIII ◦ Meet You

**@ashlove94  
** really want to meet _@_ _A_ _shton5SOS_  one day

 **@** **A** **shton5SOS**  
 _@ashlove94_  maybe one day shorty 😂

 **@ashlove94**  
i'm not short! you're abnormally tall  _@Ashton5SOS_  😡

 **@** **A** **shton5SOS**  
whatever you say  _@ashlove94_  😂


	9. IX ◦ Skype

**Twitter DM**

**Hayden  
** I was wondering something.

 **Ashton**  
That's never a good sign.

 **Hayden**  
Shut up and listen.

 **Ashton**  
Alright alright.

 **Hayden**  
I was wondering if we could Skype some time.  
I mean, DMing is fun, but it's getting old.  
You know?

 **Ashton**  
I know, but there's a problem.  
We aren't allowed to give out our personal Skype or our numbers.

 **Hayden**  
Oh, that makes sense I guess  
Don't worry about it then.

 **Ashton**  
I'm going to talk to the others.  
I'll be right back.

 **Hayden**  
Damn, Ash.  
Never knew you'd be so excited to see my ugly mug. 😂


	10. X ◦ Admission

**iMessage**

**Ashton  
** Hayden, I feel like I should come clean to you about something.

 **Hayden**  
You messaged me first, so this must be something important.

 **Ashton**  
I guess you could say that...

 **Hayden**  
Ash? Are you alright?

 **Ashton**  
I'm nervous.

 **Hayden**  
It's alright to be nervous.  
Take your time.

 **Ashton**  
No. I can't.  
I need to do this while I have the courage to.

 **Hayden**  
If you're sure...

 **Ashton**    
I am sure.  
Hayden, I like you.

 **Hayden**  
I like you too, Ash.

 **Ashton**  
No, Hayden.  
I like you.

 **Hayden**  
Yes, Ashton.  
I like you too.


	11. XI ◦ The Boys

**iMessage**

**Hayden  
** Ashyyyy.

 **Ashton**  
Yes, princess?

 **Hayden**  
I wanna meet yoooou x

 **Ashton**  
I want to meet you too x

 **Hayden**  
I mean, I wanna meet you all  
but I wanna meet you way more

 **Ashton**  
The others aren't too happy about that, princess. 😂

 **Hayden**  
OMFG! Are the boys with you?!?!  
whendudjdbsuwuwiak

 **Ashton**  
You're such a dweeb, princess. 😂  
Of course the boys are with me.

 **Hayden**  
dajdiebdidbsksk  
I wanna talk to them!!!!

 **Ashton**  
You thinking what I'm thinking, princess?

 **Hayden**  
Group chat?

 **Ashton**  
Group chat.


	12. XII ◦ Group Chat

**iMessage**

_Ashton has created a group with you, Michael, Luke and Calum!_

**Ashton**  
Alright, princess.  
You can meet the boys now.

 **Michael**  
Hello, Hayden.

 **Luke**  
Hi, Hayden.

 **Calum**  
Sup?

 **Hayden**  
OMFG! Ash, you're amazing.  
I can't believe this!

 **Michael**  
I like how we're here and she's still talking to Ashton. 😂

 **Luke**  
She's perfect for you, mate. 😂

 **Ashton**  
Shut up!

 **Hayden**  
OMG! I'm sorry!!  
Hi, boys!  
I love you all so much. ❤️  
Thank you so much for doing this!

 **Michael**  
No problem, shorty.

 **Hayden**  
Ashton Fletcher Irwin!  
Why'd you tell hiiim?!

 **Ashton**  
I swear I didn't say anything!  
Princess, I promise!

 **Luke**  
He didn't. I did.  
I got into Ash's phone.

 **Hayden**  
Lucas!

 **Calum**  
Nice pet name, Ash. 😂  
So original.

 **Ashton**  
Shut up, Calum.

 **Hayden**  
Shut up, Calum.

 **Michael**  
Oooh!!  
You getting ganged up on.  
Sucks to be you, man.

 **Luke**  
😂😂

 **Hayden**  
You guys are so amazing. 😍  
I'm still not over the fact that I'm talking to you.  
I am literally crying right now.

 **Ashton**  
Awww, babe x

 **Michael**  
Don't cry, Hay!  
This isn't cry worthy!

 **Luke**  
It's alright, Hay.  
No need to be overwhelmed.  
We're just average people.

 **Calum**  
Is this what all our fans do?

 **Hayden**  
Yes, Calum.  
Yes it is.


	13. XIII ◦ Call

**◦ hayden ◦**

_Ashton is calling._

I can't help the grin that appears on my face when my phone screen lights up. I instantly hit the green accept button, not caring at my half dressed state because he can't see me unless we facetime.

"Ash," I say happily.

"Try again," Michael laughs.

"Mike? Why have you got Ash's phone? Where is he?"

"He's asleep. It's our day off, so he's making the most of it. Luke and I got bored so we took his phone and called you."

"Luke's with you?"

Luke laughs. "Hi, Hay. How're you doing?"

"I'm doing good, mate. How're you?"

"At least you're Australian," Michael teases, Luke chuckling in agreement. "We were thinking that you were American."

I snort. "Of course I'm Australian."

"So where are you from? Queensland? Victoria? Canberra?"

"Actually, I'm from New South Wales."

Before they can respond, I hear Ashton's voice echo through where they're staying, yelling at Luke and Michael. I hear a door open, and Ashton's sleep-filled voice filter through the speaker of her phone. Butterflies flutter to life in my stomach and a giddy feeling washes over me, accompanied by a grin.

"What are you two doing?" Ashton mumbles, sitting down beside them. "Wait. Are you talking to my girlfriend?"

"Hi, Ashy," I call, unable to hide the excitement in my voice. "Good morning."

"Morning, princess. How are you?"

"Cramps galore. Sucks to be a girl sometimes."

"Damn. Wish I was there. I'd buy you chocolate and ice cream and give you a heat pack and a shoulder massage."

"Mate, you're so whipped,"Luke laughs.

A  _whack_ sounds. "Be nice,  _Lucas_. Ashton is just being a good boyfriend."

I burst out laughing at their idiocy and let my phone slip from my hand onto my bed. Ashton laughs along with his girlfriend and reclines back on the chair he's sitting on, watching as his blond friend rubs the back of his head and his green haired friend grins at both the blond and the phone.

"You're all idiots," I laugh. "And I wouldn't change it for the world."

Ashton smiles. "I wouldn't want you to change anything."


	14. XIV ◦ Catch Fire

**@** **Ashton5SOS  
** All my life I've been waiting for moments to come  
When I catch fire and watch over you like the sun

 **@ashlove94**  
 _replying to @_ _As_ _hton5SOS_  
😍😍


	15. XV ◦ Shirts

**◦ hayden ◦**

The Skype ringtone fills my ears and I look over to my phone in surprise. The screen is bright blue, but the icon in the centre has a  _Five Seconds of Summer_ logo. Frowning, I hit the answer button and sit comfortably on my bed, ignoring the fact that I only just got out of the shower.

The camera instantly turns on and my jaw drops in shock as Ashton's grinning face appears on the screen. A squeal of happiness leaves my lips and I turn my camera on, smiling at my boyfriend with tears stinging my eyes. Ashton's eyes dart around the screen before looking down, instantly looking back up to my face with wide eyes.

"Hey, Ash," I greet. "I thought you weren't allowed to give out your personal Skype to anyone."

"And I thought you'd have some clothes on," Ashton swallows, shifting uncomfortably. "Not that I'm really complaining, but, you know..."

"Oh, shit, Ash, I'm sorry. I completely forgot." I jump off my bed and drops my phone, running over to my wardrobe.

"It's alright."

I drop my towel and pull on underwear and a bra, kicking the towel to the side and scanning my wardrobe for something to wear.

"Anyway, what were you doing before I called?"

"Having a shower."

Ashton clears his throat. "That's not what I meant, princess."

"Uh huh. So,  _5SOS_  shirt or  _Nirvana_  shirt?"

"My answer would be biased."

"Boyfriend band shirt it is then." I pull on the black  _5SOS_  shirt and a pair of denim shorts before jumping back onto my bed and picking my phone up. "Is this better, Ashy?"

"Well, as I said before, I wasn't really complaining at your lack of clothing, but I do like the shirt, princess."


	16. XVI ◦ Caught

**@5SOSDaily  
** _@Ashton5SOS_  has been spotted with old girlfriend Bryana Holly! An old flame rekindled??

**@ashlove94**  
 _replying to_ @5SOSDaily   
Ash, what are you doing...?

 **@Ashton5SOS**  
 _replying to_ @ashlove94 _and_ @5SOSDaily  
Hayden, no.


	17. XVII ◦ Explain

**iMessage**

**Ashton  
** Princess, let me explain.

 **Hayden**  
There's no explanation needed.  
You obviously still have feelings for her.

 **Ashton**  
Hayden, I don't. I promise.

 **Hayden**  
Then what the hell were you doing??!!

 **Ashton**  
She's with Nicholas Hoult.  
She's pregnant.

 **Hayden**  
Is it yours?

 **Ashton**  
No.

 **Hayden**  
If it isn't, then why were you with her?

 **Ashton**  
Bryana and I are still friends.

 **Hayden**  
And...?

 **Ashton**  
She was telling me that she was pregnant,  
and that she wants me to be the godfather.

 **Hayden**  
Alright then.  
As long as that's all there is.

 **Ashton**  
Hayden, baby, princess, I promise.  
I swear that's all.  
I would never cheat on you.

 **Hayden**  
Good.  
Because that's something I would never forgive you for.  
It's not nice being cheated on.

 **Ashton**  
You've been cheated on?  
That's just cruel and vindictive.

 **Hayden**  
It was with my best friend.

 **Ashton**  
Well, shit.


	18. XVIII ◦ Location

**@Ashton5SOS  
** We're going on tour for our 2015 album! :) Hoping to meet some awesome people!

 **@ashlove94**  
 _replying to @Ashton5SOS_  
Starting in Australia??

 **@Ashton5SOS**  
 _replying to @ashlove94_  
Yeah we are. Whereabouts are you?

 **@ashlove94**  
 _replying to @Ashton5SOS_  
I'm about 6 hours away from Sydney.

 **@Ashton5SOS**  
 _replying to @ashlove94_  
You going to be able to make it?

 **@ashlove94**  
 _replying to @Ashton5SOS_  
Can't afford it this year, so maybe your next tour.

 **@Ashton5SOS**  
 _replying to @ashlove94_  
No way. You're coming to this one. I'll make sure of it.


	19. XIX ◦ Birthday

**iMessage**

**Ashton  
** Happy birthday, princess xx

 **Hayden**  
Aww, Ash xx  
Thank you so much. ❤️

 **Ashton**  
I mailed you a little present a couple days ago.  
It should be there today.

 **Hayden**  
You didn't have to.

 **Ashton**  
Sure I did, and I wanted to anyway.

 **Hayden**  
But I didn't get anything for your birthday earlier this year. 🙁

 **Ashton**  
That's alright. 😁  
You can make it up to me for Christmas. 😉

 **Hayden**  
Quit with the winky face, Ash.  
You ain't getting what you want.

 **Ashton**  
Aww. 😭  
You're so cruel, Hayden.

 **Hayden**  
Yup, and you love it!

 **Ashton**  
True.  
I love you too though.

 **Hayden**  
Ash...

 **Ashton**  
Sorry.  
I just thought it was about time I told you how I feel.

 **Hayden**  
That's not it.

 **Ashton**  
What is it?

 **Hayden**  
a) I love you too, you doofus.  
And b) THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH, ASHY! 😍😭  
I am literally crying.

 **Ashton**  
Your present got there?  
Good. 😁  
Do you like it?

 **Hayden**  
Like it?  
No.  
I love it!!

 **Ashton  
** I told you that you were coming. 😁


	20. XX ◦ Informing

**◦ hayden ◦**

_THE BOYS is calling you._

I hit the green button on the blue screen and grin at the sight of my favourite band already smiling at me.

"Happy birthday, Hayden," the four chorus, their party hats shimmering in the light.

"Thanks, guys," I say, voice cracking and tears pooling in my eyes.

Michael instantly jolts. "Why are you crying? It's a happy day!"

"I am so happy, Mike. That's all. I'm just so overwhelmed."

Luke snickers. "She got our gift."

Ashton grins at his girlfriend. "You're welcome, princess."

I wipe my eyes and smile. "You are all so unbelievable. I cannot believe you guys did this - and for someone you barely know and haven't really met."

Calum raises an eyebrow. "Have you looked at the tickets yet?"

I frown and reach into my bedside cupboard to pull out the ticket, feeling four pairs of eyes trained on me. Relieving the ticket from the envelope, my eyes scan over the piece of paper. An involuntary scream breaches my lips and I break down in front of my idols, tears running down my face and my breathing erratic.

Steps thud along outside my room and the door opens a few seconds later, the light from my room illuminating my mother's worried face. "Hayden, is everything alright?"

I sniff. "Everything is amazing, Ma. So unbelievably amazing."

"I'm glad you're happy. Wait, who are you Skyping?"

"Um, Ma, that's something we can talk about later, right?"

My mum's eyes flicker from the screen of her daughter's phone to the posters on the walls of the room, and back. "Hayden, are they those boys you keep going crazy about?"

I look at my boyfriend. "Ash, am I allowed to tell her? Would your management allow this?"

Ashton smiles encouragingly. "Princess, this is your mum. She deserves to know."

Michael nods in agreement. "Management agreed the other for you to inform your parents of what is going on."

I motion for my mother to close the door and come over to the bed. The older woman does so, keeping her eyes trained on the bright red hair and bandanas on her daughter's phone screen. Once she is sitting, I turn to face my mother and clear my throat, worried about her reaction.

"Ma, I should have told you this months ago, but I wasn't allowed to," I explain. "These boys are  _Five Seconds of Summer_ , and the one with the bandana, Ashton, is my boyfriend. We've been going out for a couple of months."

My mum frowns slightly, looking over at the innocent looking twenty-four-year-old. "You are both aware of the age difference between you, right?"

Michael looks like he is about to burst out laughing at the woman's words, while Calum and Luke look mortified. Ashton flushes in embarrassment and looks away, me mirroring his actions and clearing my throat awkwardly.

"Yes, mum," I say. "I know he's older than me by six years, but it's really not that big of an age difference."

The older woman rolls her eyes. "Hayden, are you sure about this? Dating a famous person has its highs and lows - especially when certain people know about it."

"I'm sure, Ma. I love him."

"And you, Ashton," she says, snapping her attention to the suddenly scared male. "What are your intentions with my daughter?"

Ashton pulls off his bandana and swallows. "I plan on never hurting her, Mrs Jackson, and making her the happiest girl in the world. I love her with all my heart, and I will never let her down."

"I'll hold you to that, Ashton, and, please call me Tessa. I am neither married nor old enough to be referred to as a Mrs or a Ms."

"That's a good thing, Miss Tessa," Michael pipes up. "Keep this curly haired drummer an honest man, and he'll make your daughter an honest woman one day."

"Michael!" Ashton and Hayden yell, causing the red haired boy to flinch at the volume and simply grin widely in response.


	21. XXI ◦ Travel

**iMessage**

**Ashton  
** Good morning, princess x  
How are you?

 **Hayden**  
Good morning, Ashy x  
I'm really good and that's all thanks to you. 😁  
How about you?

 **Ashton**  
That's good 😁 and I'm thrilled to finally meet you.

 **Hayden**  
I'm not even on the plane yet.  
Hold your horses.

 **Ashton**  
At least you're going to be here in less than six hours.

 **Hayden**  
You just want to get your hands on me don't you? 😂

 **Ashton**  
Well...  
That's just a bonus.

 **Hayden**  
You're just a regular horny twenty-four-year-old aren't you? 😂

 **Ashton**  
Maybe...  
Maybe not...

 **Hayden**  
I thought so. 😂  
You just want me for my body.

 **Ashton**  
Now that's not true, princess.  
You know that.

 **Hayden**  
Ash, I'm just teasing.  
I know you're here for me and not my looks.  
Hell, no one would be here for my looks.

 **Ashton**  
Stop it, Hayden.  
You're beautiful.

 **Hayden**  
I'm boarding the plane now.  
I'll message you later.  
Promise x

 **Ashton**  
Alright  
Talk to you later, princess x

 **Hayden**  
I love you.

 **Ashton**  
I love you too.


	22. XXII ◦ Planes and Revelations

**◦ hayden ◦**

"Planes scare me," I murmur into my phone, my boyfriend listening patiently on the other end. "I don't know why, but I've never liked planes."

Ashton hums in agreement and nods his head. "I know how you feel, princess. Planes used to make me scared too, but, after the past few years, I've gotten used to them in a way."

"Travelling will do that to you."

"Just look out the window and enjoy the view."

"I would, but you're not here."

"Ha ha. Very funny, babe. Just trust me."

I suck in a breath and look out the window, wide blue eyes flickering over the cloud city below her. "The clouds are so beautiful. There's so many formations."

Ashton chuckles, reclining back on the hotel bed and closing his eyes. "There you go, princess. Your very own city to rule."

"You're the king though."

"And, baby, you're my queen."

"'And god help anyone who disrespects his queen'."

"Fucking hell. You're a fangirl, aren't you?"

"I did warn you months ago, Ashy. You should have heeded my advice."

"If I did, we wouldn't be together."

"That's true." I yawn, cutting myself off. "But we might still be talking."

Ashton shorts in amusement. "Get some sleep, princess. I'll see you later."

**◦◦ two hours later ◦◦**

"Attention all passengers, we are about to begin our descent," a woman informs over the intercom. "Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts."

I force my eyes open at the announcement and move in my seat, stretching and almost smashing the person beside me in the face. Giving them an apologetic look, I gain a reassuring smile in return. Straightening up, I fasten my seatbelt and rub my tired eyes as my stomach drops at the descent to the airport.

Gripping the edges of her seat, I let out shallow breaths until the plane touches down, causing me to jolt slightly at the impact. Moments later, the plane pulls to a stop and the "fasten seatbelts" sign goes out. Instantly, I undo my seatbelt and stretch further, cursing when my phone hits the ground.

"Fucking hell," I curse sleepily, picking up her iPhone 5c and shoving it into my pocket. "At least it's not broken."

The girl beside her laughs. "Ain't that true, mate? My worst fear is shattering my phone screen."

"Mine is flying, but I think I just got over it."

"Well fuck. You're a brave girl."

"And you're not?"

The girl's eyes widen in disbelief, almost tripping as she steps out of the plane. "Am I...?"

"What?"

"Do I really look like a girl?"

"Uh, yes...? Is that the answer you're looking for..?"

"Yes. I've been waiting for someone to say that I look like a girl for  _months_. It's been so hard transitioning."

I pause in the hallway outside the plane. "You're trans?"

"Yup, and I'm happy to be who I feel like I am." The girl hesitates at my expression. "Is something wrong?"

"No. It's just, where I come from, there is literally no one trans. They're all majorly straight and slightly homophobic."

We walk into the airport terminal and claim our bags, heading out to get a taxi to our chosen motels. There's a hint of tension from my previous statement, but it is quickly wiped clean by the next thing the girl says.

"Are you..?"

"Bisexual and proud."

The girl smiles. "i'm Riley, by the way."

I smile in response. "I'm Hayden."


	23. XXIII ◦ Motel Rooms

**iMessage**

**Hayden**  
Ashyyy x  
I'm going to punch you when I see you.

 **Ashton**  
Princess x  
Why are we hurting me?

 **Hayden**  
You paid for my motel room.  
And it's one of the best ones.  
In the very motel near where you're performing.

 **Ashton**  
There's a reason for that. 😉

 **Hayden**  
ssjneididjdklak  
Are you in this motel??!!  
Are we roomies??!!  
Are we neighbours??!!  
Ashton Fletcher Irwin!

 **Ashton**  
Calm down, princess. 😁  
Yes, we're in the same motel.

 **Hayden**  
And??!!

 **Ashton**  
Our rooms may or may not be close...

 **Hayden**  
If they are, I'm going to scream. 😍😭

 **Ashton**  
That'll make you easier to find. 😉

 **Hayden**  
Fucking hell, Irwin. 😒


	24. XXIV ◦ Door

**iMessage**

**Hayden  
** There's an extra door in my room.

 **Ashton**  
What do you mean?

 **Hayden**  
I mean that there's an extra door.  
I found the bathroom door.  
It's on the other side of the room.

 **Ashton**  
Have you tried opening it?

 **Hayden**  
What if it's something bad?

 **Ashton**  
Where's my brave princess?  
Just open the door.

**◦ hayden ◦**

I look up from my phone and swallow before shaking my head and pushing my apprehension away. Stuffing my phone into my jeans pocket, I grasp the handle and turn it, curiosity getting the better of me. The door swings open and I go still at the sight before me.

Another motel room lays before me, but that's not the best part. Reclining on the bed, with a giant smirk on their face, is my boyfriend. I let out an almighty screech of happiness and fling myself towards the male as he stands, tears already streaming from my eyes as his arms hold me tightly to his body. I can't help sobbing into his shirt, and he can't help the tears of jubilance arising in his own hazel eyes.

"Hey, princess," Ashton murmurs, his deep voice causing her to shiver. "It feels so nice to finally hold you."

I sniffle and clutch his shirt, not wanting to let him go. "I can't believe you're really here, Ashy. It's like a dream come true."

"It's not a dream."

"And if it is?"

He pulls back and stares into her blue eyes. "If it's a dream, then I don't wanna wake up."

I smile up at him through watery tears. "Neither do I."

"I've been wanting to say something in person for months, and, now that I can finally say it, I feel nervous as all hell."

"Nervous is good, and so is shy. Remember?"

"I remember."

"Good."

"I love you, princess."

"And I love you, Ashy."


	25. XXV ◦ Kiss

**◦ hayden ◦**

I smile, curling up beside my boyfriend on the bed and breathing in his addictive scent. Cologne and some kind of spice mix. Well, that's what it smells like to me. Warmth is surrounding me and making me sigh in content, snuggling closer to my own personal heater.

"You know what, princess?" Ashton murmurs, running his finger down my side. "You're so fucking beautiful and I can barely stand it."

I roll my eyes, but can't help the faint flush of my cheeks. "Speak for yourself, Ash. I'm not beautiful."

"Sure you are. The most beautiful girl i've ever seen."

"No way."

He sits up as I move away from him to the edge of the bed. "Hay? What's the matter?"

I shake my head and twist my fingers, anxiety rippling through me. "I don't know what you see in me."

"I see a flawed person, but she doesn't let those flaws consume her because she embraces them without hesitation."

"You're damn fucking right that I'm flawed, but you're also wrong that I embrace it. There's so much that you don't know about me, so much that I want to tell you but I can't because I'm afraid you'll leave me."

"Hayden, I don't plan on ever leaving you, so don't be afraid about me running away."

"I'm a fucking  _mess_ , Ashton, and there's no fixing me. Honest to god, I'm shattered and there's nothing in the world that can put me back together. Severe depression and anxiety, dissociative identity disorder, abandonment issues, attachment issues, and so much more. I still have extremely bad days where all I want to do is tear into my own skin and make myself bleed to no end, Ash. Trust means when I say that you don't really want someone like me in your life."

I stand from my place on the edge of the bed and move a few steps away from the one I love, fingernails digging into the bared flesh of my upper arms as thoughts bombard me. Bowing my head, hair shrouds my face and hides my falling tears and expression.

Ashton stays silent, unable to formulate a sentence at the confession thrust upon him. I see the look of turbulent conflict and confusion in my boyfriend's eyes and close my eyes, tears rolling down my face and my breathing stuttering. I jump up off Ashton's bed and go to run out of the room, but a hand clamps around my wrist and jerks me to a stop. Not facing him as he stands and hovers inches behind me, I remains in the direction of the door joining our rooms.

"I'm not going anywhere, Hayden," Ashton murmurs, his grip lessening and his hand trailing down to lace his fingers with mine. "I promise, princess. I will never leave you."

I tremble against him, eyes squeezing shut in an attempt to staunch the tears. "Ash..."

"I don't care what you have, because it doesn't define you. Sure, it may impact on your life and our relationship, but that's something we will work through."

"Ash, you don't know what you're saying. You really don't want to deal with all of this. Trust me - I've lived with it for as long as I can remember."

"Turn around and look at me, Hayden."

I turn reluctantly and look up into Ashton's tear-filled hazel eyes.

He smiles gently and cups my face with his free hand. "There you go. Now, does it look like I don't want to be in this with you?"

I shake my head.

"That's right. I'm going to be with you through the good times and bad times. No matter what, princess. I'm not going anywhere."

"You're the first one who has voluntarily stayed."

Ashton's eyebrows furrow in disappointment and his lips shape into a small pout. I can't help but raise my hand to trail my fingers over his face, earning a look of surprise. He smiles down at me and closes his eyes, the muscles in his face relaxing under my gentle touch. I gain the overwhelming desire to kiss him, so, I shift to my toes and press my lips against his softly for a few brief seconds before pulling away and returning to my normal height.

I can't help but smile up at Ashton when his eyes slowly open, revealing an almost dark brown in place of their usual hazel.

"What was that for, princess?" Ashton asks, voice deeper than usual.

"I just felt like it," I reply, flushing lightly.


	26. XXVI ◦ Pumped

**@Ashton5SOS  
** So pumped for the show tonight!!

 **@ashlove94**  
 _replying to_ @Ashton5SOS  
Can't wait to see you all!!

 **@Ashton5SOS**  
 _replying to_ @ashlove94  
See you soon ;)

 **@ashlove94**  
 _replying to_ @Ashton5SOS  
:)


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